1. Two years ago when I moved here, I quit my jobs immediately trying to look for one here. I didn't know how hard it would be to find a job in Cali. When Chloee transitioned to our home here two months later, we decided it would be good if I stayed at home with her until she started school. When she started kindergarten, I looked again for work. And again. And again. Coming close to a job as a dental assistant again, but with having one car, the work schedule I would have didn't meet Corbin's. It was ultra frustrating.
I found myself looking for stay at home-online jobs. Anyways, overtime I got very discouraged.
Although it was nice having a break from working, I didn't know it would be a two year break. And honestly, it's bitter-sweet. Anyone would love to stay home and not work!! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it. But, when all of your family and friends are in Utah and don't have a car to go anywhere, there's only so much you can do. At least the house is almost always spotless :)
I loved working! I loved making paychecks! I loved saving most of my money and spending it on fun things here and there. I loved knowing I was helping people who needed to be helped. I also loved knowing that I was building my resume.
One day a simple thought dawned on me. I think while reading my scriptures.. That there is a time for everything.
I thought that I should have been working this whole time, should be making money for my family, should be adding to our savings, should still be building my resume.
If, out of all of the places I applied (only a handful were actually hiring) did not hire me, maybe I'm not supposed to hold a job right now. I may be wrong, but when I look at it this way it kind of makes sense...
Before I moved here, I spent the majority of my time after work to be with Chloee each day. We became very close and she was my best friend. (still is ;) ) I had given her baths, made her dinner and put her to bed.
I was so excited to get done with work to go spend time with little 3-4 year old Chloee. When I walked in the Catmull's house, she would have the biggest smile on her face and instantly wanted to take me to her room to play and lock the door haha. It always, without a doubt, made my day.
During her transitioning to move to Cali with us, she saw her daddy marry her best friend, she had seen where she would live twice before she moved in and she loved her new room, park and home.
I was still trying to get used to being in a different state, being married and living on a military base. Being away from fam and friends. I was so happy yet it was a very hard transition. And now it was time for Chloee to come live with us :)
Even though she knew me and we were close, I needed to be with her here. If it was hard for me it was probably a little confusing to her at 4 years old. I needed to her to know that I was always going to be here with her. She already had a hard time saying goodbye.. to daddy who left to boot camp and then again to training, to a mommy she still didn't understand wasn't going to come back, to me when I moved to Cali 2 months before she did, and to her Mimi and Papa who she had been living with for half a year after the incident. Also, to all of the grandparents, family and friends. I know right? She had been a very very strong girl.
It was our time to be together and bond as mother and daughter, which was my goal. I never once told her to call me mommy and one day, a week or two after she moved out, she called me mommy and I just cried some happy tears. I was grateful she was comfortable in her new home and as a new family. I'm glad I
didn't get a job. I'm glad we didn't find a daycare. I'm glad we bonded.
I am still glad that when she started Kindergarten, I was still there to walk her to school everyday and I was always there to pick her up. Her knowing I was still there for her everyday made us both very satisfied and happy.
I'm grateful that we are living comfortably where Corbin can work and we don't have to worry for another income. Thank you Military for taking care of us!
Now that we might (finding out soon-not sure yet) move home this year. It will be time for me to find a job in Utah again! :)
2. Also, as silly as this might sound, I think it was also my time to find my passion for running and fitness.
I have already blogged about how I got into running and how some of my races were..(click here to read about it) but I feel that if I didn't have all the extra time, I wouldn't have seen the importance of exercise and I still wouldn't feel good about my appearance. I grew up thinking my genes were bad, but I learned that definitely is not the case. I have come to run almost 600 miles including 2 half marathons and other shorter races in the past couple years. Even though it was not easy, I have come to a point where I enjoy it and I can't wait to run each day. I have never felt so good about myself mentally and physically.
3. Also, during my extra time. I have come to really love reading. I have read around 30 books since I moved here (it isn't THAT many but still, that's a lot of reading). But most importantly I read the Book of Mormon, D&C and the Pearl of Great Price. That has always been a huge goal of mine and I'm glad I
stayed to it. I am now reading the Bible, which will take a w h i l e but I love these big important books!! :)
I know the BoM to be true and if you have not read it, I know that you will very much enjoy it and get a lot out of it than you will have expected. :)
God works in extraordinary ways, there is a time for everything.
Absolutley beautiful my girl. Absolutley beautiful. There is a time for everything and I honestly believe Chloee is thriving under your watchful eye and your being able to be there for at all times.
ReplyDeleteLove this post
Karelee - you are such an inspiration. You will not believe how fast Chloee will grow up and PROMISE you this: you will never regret the time you invested in her. There is not one job on this earth that would have been more important than your decision to allow Chloee to experience for herself through your actions and not just your words the security and love you have been (and are) providing to her every moment of every single day. I love you and for what it's worth, this Auntie is proud of you. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post!
ReplyDeleteI loved this and totally needed to hear this today! Thanks girl. xo
ReplyDeletesounds like you have timed many of the most important things perfectly!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post!
Thanks for sharing this personal part of your wonderful life!